Miles & Tones

In the final hours of my twenties, I take time to reflect on the different stages of my life.  I can’t help but laugh at all the ideas I believed to be the truth at age eighteen and smile at the lessons learned along the way.  As I reflect on times that felt like quite a challenge, I can see now how those experiences propelled me towards positive change and helped me to develop.  What pleases me the most as I prepare for the next decade is the relationships I have maintained over the years.  The shapes of these relationships have certainly taken many forms over the years, but all contain one constant…L-O-V-E. 

As the youngest of six children I have been very fortunate to have a constant cheerleading squad throughout my life.  I fondly recall the words of a friend upon his first learning of my large family, “I imagine that to be both awesome and horrible!”  I am happy to report the journey with my family has been more of the former than the latter.  It’s funny, the things that I viewed as horrible as a child (hand me downs and having to share everything from bedrooms to Little Debbie snacks) are the things on which I now look back upon quite fondly.  I can see now that it wasn’t about what we had or how we spent our time, the reason the memories of tobogganing down the hill and flashlight tag are so dear to me is because I was sharing these experiences with two of the best brothers and three of the most amazing sisters ever. 

My sisters and I have a saying, “A sibling is an insta-friend for life!”  With all the years we have shared together, I think we’ve even warmed our brothers up to this idea.  I sit here today with deep gratitude for all of the encouragement and patience my family has provided throughout the years.  Words will never be enough to thank my parents for all they have done and the lessons they have given me time to learn.  As I wave goodbye to my twenties, I am excited for all the adventures on the horizon and the new memories we will create together.  Though our offices have replaced our lemonade stands and our houses are now scattered amongst multiple states, home will always be when we are together. 

If you are reading this it is because you are important to me and have played a role in my journey.  I sit here and smile, dreaming up the next adventure we will share.  Cheers to the path ahead.  As long as we have L-O-V-E on our side I have a feeling our days will end with dancing.

Pretty Much Cracking Off

I’m perched on a fallen log taking in the stillness of Brundage mountain and reflecting on this last week and my visit to McCall, Idaho. I struggle to put into words what this place and my little family of friends here mean to me. My heart expands the second I breathe the air, my mind shifts and the two come together… Here I am at home.   My love affair with Idaho began in 2001 when my teenage mutant ninja turtle friend and I embarked on a roadtrip from Miami to McCall.  Flaunting “Idaho or Bust” tees, we left our freshman year of college behind and began our adventure. With the exception of a handful of people, I struggled to connect with others in Miami. The open road and promise of mountains was a welcome and needed change. What I carry forward from Miami is my R.A.W.ness, my unyielding persistence to be myself and not allow society to dictate how I should live, feel, or act. This feat is a lifelong process which requires much attention.   When I first arrived in McCall, I pretty much made my entrance as Tornado Michaela. Had the weather men been able to predict this storm I’m not sure how they would have prepared the locals… Hide your sons? Refinish your dance floor? And get ready for one big dose of life’s greatest medicine?  I rammed into town with such passion for fun and living aloud… an explosion ensued for that entire first summer. What I didn’t expect to happen in McCall back in 2001 was to learn one of life’s most valuable lessons.  I was high on life and so in love with my life that not much else mattered.  During that period I was so open and fearless as I was ignorant to the pain one feels when love is lost or takes a separate path.  In McCall I found not only myself, but pure love. Returning to McCall is one of my favorite vacations because of the people and the natural surroundings. As I bask in the sun at lakeview village and philosophize with my girls about life and the journey, I am encouraged to embrace each moment. To love what I love and free myself from that which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  As I walk the windy mountain roads I reflect on the love I shared here with the kindest, most gentle man I’ve ever known. I’m reminded of how we embraced our contradictions: here he was an adrenaline junkie with redneck fury, but under all of it a heart of gold. Here I was a rambunctious city gal screaming “ram it” all across town, but loving him so openly and screaming it from any mountain top I could. Our actions and words were a constant reminder of the magic we shared. He never tried to turn down my volume and I loved to witness his redneck fury in high gear.  We fully embraced all the parts of each of us, we may have come from different upbringings, but our hearts were singing the same song. Being in this place is always emotional for me, but this time just how emotional I was surprised me. To help balance the emotions I suggested a “spa day” to the Captain. She and I enjoyed facials and the serenity of calming music and clean scents for over an hour. What we did not realize is that getting a facial before four days of sun bathing may not be the best idea. Much of the week has been spent laughing about the fact that our faces are pretty much cracking off.  I have not used this much toner or moisturizer or vitamin b5 in my life. As I was washing my face this morning and starting the moisture happy ritual I couldn’t help but think…. What other parts of me need nourishing? The question took a while to come to me, but the answer was instantaneous- my heart.  The truth is my heart needed a big dose of vitamin Captain and McCall, my heart needed harmonica time with Mama Millie, my heart needed to be in the presence of pure love even if he was no longer mine. My heart needs to be right here, sitting on this fallen log contemplating ways I can moisturize my heart and prepare it to be as open and loving as it was the day i arrived here.   At the spa I purchased a ring and made a promise to myself.  I am consciously committing to being open to receive pure love again. The shape, the form, the cackle may be different, but the heart will be genuine, one of gold. My personality will stay at full blast and our days will end with dancing.   During this go around at singledom, I’ve noticed a trend amongst some of my suitors… The fear of being hurt in a relationship. It is as if they are allowing their past relationship to dictate their future. No thanks. Part of me finds that to be a copout, the better part of me hopes they give attention to their own parts that need nourishing so they too can experience pure love.  It’s so easy to succumb to fear; why not face fear and show ‘em whatcha got? One of my guy friends recently told me that every relationship that does not work out is simply preparation for the next, that you carry the good parts forward and the next relationship will be better.  I love this and believe it whole heartedly. I welcome each of us to take a look inside, to search out our parts that could use some nourishing, and go give those areas some attention.  Hurry, before they crack off!

Pass go! Collect the embracement of your genuine self!

If life is a series of lessons, when do we sit for the final exam?

The key is that there is no big exam.  Each day is a measurement of how well we are prepared to take on individual moments.  Each lesson an opportunity.

It almost feels like the sooner one realizes that there will be no final exam, the sooner one actively pursues living the genuine life only they can.

How interesting to think you are the only being capable of living your life.  Only you can have your thoughts.  Only you can create your physical motion. Only you can feel your emotions.  You experience each moment in a unique manner.

To what extent do we own this realization?  How often do we sit and allow ourselves to be amazed at such a simple insight?

May we find peace in the absence of measurement—in the insight of living the genuine life with which we have been blessed.  May the moments of joy and the moments of challenge be equally welcomed as simply breaths in which we are learning to embrace our genuine selves.

May freedom from judgment and freedom from comparison open doors to authentic living and authentic connections with others.  Here’s to embracing our authentic selves and sharing our discoveries with one another.  May the celebration propel us towards peace and smiles.

Pausing In Appreciation

Today marks the end of tax season for my office (ok, it’s officially Monday, but historically tax season ends on April 15^th ).   No, I don’t “do taxes,” but as a Certified Financial Planner I do work closely with my clients and their accountants to help them reduce taxes.  The months of February-April are filled with hours of information exchanges between my office, clients, and their accountants.

 I smile as I make my pronouncement that “We made it!”  As I take in the joy of acknowledging the survival of another tax season,  I also pause to think about the beginning of February when I was so desperately wishing this time away.  How often do we do this?  Wish time away?  The concept of wishing time away sounds very off and feels odd to write, but as I think of it more I can see a pattern of when I visualize the completion of a project and wish the time in between start and finish away.  At the beginning, I fantasize about the end of the project and the bliss I will feel upon completion. 

Now that I am attuned to my thinking, I’m not a big fan.  What about the middle?  I would like to live more in the middle in my life.  To me, living in the middle means taking out the extremes and just being.  For example, I don’t need to be furious or exuberantly happy…I can simply be content and sit with my emotions.  I don’t need to be exhausted or hyper to realize my energy level, I can simply pause and realize the moments when I feel well.  Rather than fantasize about my release upon completion of a project, what fun interval-goals can I reach along the way?  And how will I reward them?

My intention today is to pause in appreciation.  To take a moment to soak in the idea of getting back to the aspects I love about my job and helping others, having more time to see my girlfriends, to play with my nieces and nephews, to chat with my siblings and parents, to go on fun dates.  I feel great appreciation for my new love for mochas because a mocha in the afternoon is a treat that gives me a burst of energy for life after work hours.  I’m appreciative of new recipes I’ve discovered that provide a welcome release to do something nourishing for me.  I appreciate my yoga practice and the banister it has been to steady me when things are a bit shaky in my life.  I pause in appreciation of celebrating my Mom’s birthday tonight with life -long friends and visiting family.  I pause in appreciation to celebrate my Mom. I pause in appreciation for the love surrounding me…in the forms of friendship, trust, and family.

I sit here, happily sipping my mocha, pausing in appreciation for all of YOU who read my little blog and encourage me to continue self exploration through reflection.  I appreciate the art of writing… for aiding me in self expression. 

Here’s to living in the middle!  May your weekend be just what you need it to be!

Chameleon

I have become attuned to how we identify ourselves when meeting others and am intrigued.  Do you have a go-to introduction for yourself?  For instance, I commonly introduce myself and identify myself with my work as a Financial Planner.  But what if we take our profession out of the equation, then what?  How would we describe ourselves then?  What words come to mind?  Would we then shift to identifying ourselves as the emotion we are currently experiencing?  How often do we say “I am good” without giving thought to how we are feeling?  How often do we passionately respond to the question, “How are you?”  If in that moment we are feeling fabulous, do we express that emotion?  I hope so, but if not, why not?

Let’s move from commonplace to place ourselves outside of common.

I find it funny the words we choose to attach to oneself, and now that I’m focusing on the topic I realize… I’ve never been able to identify myself definitively.  The reason being, I feel none of us really fit into any one category.  I feel cheated at the suggestion of checking off a box and that is what I AM.   I may be a) outgoing, b) ambitious, c) kind, d) balanced.  It’s not that I do not identify with these adjectives, rather I feel as though perhaps we are more Chameleon-like and are forever embracing ourselves and adapting to opportunity.  For example, yes, I can identify with being outgoing, however, I also have my times where I can be an introvert and need stillness and silence to welcome self-reflection.  I do seek balance in my life and try to have a healthy mix of ambition towards my career, time spent with my family and other loved ones, nurturing of my health…and then I have times when I am completely lazy and dedicate time to “not do jack shit.”  Some days I have an amazing connection with the earth and on others, I don’t recycle everything I could.  (Captain Kaytie, Does that make me an environmental P.O.S.?) I have moments when I am extremely compassionate and others when I am a horrible listener.  In college I discovered pleasure in doing yoga to the music stylings of non other than rapper, 50 cent.  I love this contradiction.

I simply am not definitively one thing at all times.

One of the most interesting descriptions I hear myself use is that I am a “SPIN” (indoor cycling) instructor.  Immediately people start to think I am a health nut and dedicated to fitness.  The truth is, I enjoy working out and the fulfillment of a good sweat from a jog or yoga.  However, I also really love fried chicken fingers, beer and milk chocolate.  Sometimes my push to workout is not the fulfillment from the sweat, but my desire to feel sexy in a pair of jeans or have confidence in a bikini.  Other days my workout is completely to help clear my mind.

So I sit here today, in my Chameleon state of mind, and challenge myself not to confine myself or judge others to be any one definition.   If I spend half my day brainstorming methods of how I can save the world and empower women to best position themselves for success and spend the rest of the day eating Raisinets on the couch while watching mindless TV, I am ok with that.  If tomorrow I wake up and run 3 miles and take my Pilates class at noon and am super productive at work I will be satisfied, I will be proud.  My challenge is becoming more clear now.  My intention is to shift my focus from how what I do is perceived or defines me, to how what I do sits with me, makes me feel.  Am I fulfilled from a productive day at work?  Yes.  Am I fulfilled from a day of “not doing jack shit?”  Yes.  Can I encounter a rambunctious gal pal and also understand her serious side and embrace the many different angles she shares with the world? Yes. Can I meet a marathon runner and understand they have more than running going on in their life?  Yes.  Can I admire my dear friend who plays in a speed metal band, but also loves to dance to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake?  Absolutely, in fact, I love this about her!

May we embrace all of the evolving parts, which make us who we are, and dance with our discoveries.  May we challenge ourselves not to judge at first glance and create checklists of who we perceive others to be.  May we be open to seeing the light in each of us….and let it shine, let it shine, let is shine!

Stay in the Sunshine

A few years back while explaining to my sister how much I disliked snowboarding in the cold she gave me the advice to “stay in the sunshine.”  At the time I didn’t realize how well this advice translated from the slopes to all aspects of my life.   Last week while snowboarding in the amazing Wasatch Mountains of Park City, Utah, I took her advice quite literally and soaked up some rays.  I couldn’t help but think how I needed to stay in this sunshine and thrive.

I recently ended a nearly two year, intimate, love, relationship.  The open air of the slopes provided some much needed time to think about the relationship, the love it provided and also the challenges.   After over a week of feeling every emotion from anger to frustration to liberation I’ve decided rather than dwell on the shade the relationship eventually created, I’m going to remember the sunshine.  The love we shared, the many firsts we shared together, and the laughter.  It’s much more enjoyable in the sun then in the shade!

The universe has been gracefully sending lots of sunshine my way…  In the form of loving words  from  the cutest of voices (my four nieces and one nephew), my sisters whom have been by my side every step of this new chapter in my life, in the warmth of my amazing girlfriends and their patient ears, my mom’s chicken soup, chili, and love,  my father’s advice,  and my brothers’ encouraging words.  The universe keeps dropping sunshine In my lap with the identification of a fabulous, sunny apartment all of my own, free snowboarding, free live music, new friends, sister movie and sushi nights, strengthened bonds in the form of slumber parties with gal pals, spontaneous laughter and dancing, and fun planning of decorating my new place.  The universe even spoke to me yesterday at Nordstrom’s, of all places, where I scored a fabulous pair of designer jeans for $24.97! 

Love and sunshine seem to be sprouting from every angle.   Continue to nourish the relationships in your life and loneliness will have no home with you.   Spread your arms wide, the rays will come.  Stay in the sunshine my friends and Dance! Dance! Dance!

Just how flexible am I?

As 2011 taps on the window and asks me to come play I am tempted to bargain with the New Year and come to a mutually beneficial agreement.  While contemplating what this would entail the idea of not having such high expectations entered, but I was uncomfortable with that idea and choose not to offer lower expectations a cup of tea.  I kindly sent lower expectations away and I hope he did not set up shop in any of your homes or hearts.  After further thought I realized the bargain I want to make with 2011 is to be more flexible.

 

When I have a plan in my head of how something will go, I feel easily let down if things unfold differently.  That’s really no way to live as I’m setting myself up for lots of negative feelings. Reflecting on it now, I can’t help but think- how boring to want to live so regimented and planned? In fact, many of my most treasured moments in life are those that were not planned and occurred rather spontaneously.

 

I am creating some tools to help me stay committed to my goal of being more flexible. First, when I catch myself over planning a conversation or interaction with someone before it is even happening I am going to stop myself and ask myself “What is my intention?” and then I will keep my answer b-r-o-a-d.  If my intention is to show my support, I will leave it at that.  I will not plan what my supportive words will be.  If my intention is to express concern to a loved one, I will imagine the conversation going well and the receiving person leaving the conversation feeling loved.  I will not plan the actual conversation.  I trust my heart and my words to align as long as I remember my intention.

 

Second, when I am planning events I will make my usual list of things I’d like to accomplish which usually includes yummy food, close friends, and a dollop of meaning.  I will then prioritize my list.  Next, I will give myself permission to forget about those ideas that may not come to fruition because the preparation is stressing me out.  Gatherings are meant to bring people together to engage in joy, so why the hell am I stressing myself out?  No need…I will remember it’s just fine to dial myself down from a 9 to a 6.

 

Third, welcoming a regular yoga practice into my life will help me maintain my commitment to being more flexible-both physically and mentally. An increased attention to mind body connection will offer me space to reflect on that which works to increase my joy and throw that which does not out the window.   Speaking of throwing things out the window I must share a story with you.

 

A dear friend of mine was looking to spread some holiday cheer within her work place and decided to gift all of her co-workers with gift cards to Dunkin Donuts.  After a long day of pre-holiday errands and shopping she accidentally threw out the entire bag of gift cards she purchased.  I spoke with her the week after Christmas and she asked me if I had seen a small white box at her home.  It turns out she accidentally threw out the two charms her husband had given her while cleaning up Christmas morning.  I couldn’t stop thinking of how bummed she must be to lose the sentimental gifts from her husband.  It just seemed unfair for this to happen to my friend. Then I thought, what if my friend were able to choose what she wanted to throw away or leave behind in 2010?  And why shouldn’t she?  We, my friends, are the Captains of our own ships and therefore have the opportunity to leave behind that which was less than thrilling in 2010 and dance into 2011 with new life, an open heart, and increased flexibility!

Defining Wealth

Beginning my Freshman year of college I had trouble understanding the acceptance of defining wealth as solely monetary.  Princeton’s online resource (and many of my fellow students at UMiami back in 2001) defines wealth as follows:

• the state of being rich and affluent; having a plentiful supply of material goods and money; “great wealth is not a sign of great intelligence”
• the quality of profuse abundance; “she has a wealth of talent”
• an abundance of material possessions and resources
• property that has economic utility: a monetary value or an exchange value

I agree with the statement “great wealth is not a sign of great intelligence” however I will not accept the remainder of the definition as complete.  Throughout my Freshman year, I was surrounded by students looking to out do one another, to “get ahead” by any means.  After an abundance of introductions to all that is new as a college Freshman-new friends, new location, beer, scheduling, beer, pool, budgeting for beer, south beach, beer- I felt an overwhelming pain of disconnect from those around me.  We had such different ideas of happiness.

From this disconnect came some serious soul searching within myself and others.  I spent many hours asking myself what really made me happy and exploring my moments of most joy and those of most calm.  As I grew more comfortable with myself and my inability to define happiness in material objects, I grew the strength to express what I was feeling.  I wrote notes addressed “to Society” screaming what did and did not make me happy.  I wrote short stories of a young girl on the search to understand her worth.  My brother, a CPA, shared my short story with some co-workers at the big accounting firm at which he worked during that time.  I knew then I could move people (I think we all can)!   After taking numerous intro classes I dropped my business management major and decided to become an English Writing major.  I just didn’t buy into what business was selling me.

Luckily, I was blessed with one EXTRAordinary young gal who was feeling a similar state of being lost. I immediately knew The Captain and I were soul sisters when I first heard her voicemail which delightfully sang, “This is Kate.  I’m out saving the world, so leave a message and I’ll call you back.”  The Captain and I became fast friends whom blazed the trail in our mission to Redefine All Wealth (R.A.W.). Our mission was not always navigated well, but the message remained the same—we would not conform to society’s definition of what we “should” want and do.  Our tactics, though with good intentions, were often more hilarious then tactful: We cried to girls in bars about their breast implants and the addition of something unnatural to their naturally beautiful selves.  We created our own riot invoking tank tops to express ourselves.  We shared our vision of making the world more R.A.W. with any ear that would listen.  We asked many questions of our peers and teachers in regards to what their goals were and why.  On a visit to Mardi Gras, I ran into a young man selling T-shirts that said “Stop Bitching.  Start a Revolution!” and thought the universe was speaking, screaming directly at The Captain and I. We carried our R.A.W.volution across the country in a trusty little Mazda miata and laughed ‘til we cried.

The Captain and I recently reunited to celebrate the marriage of our two friends.  The trip to Idaho helped me fall in love with the woman I am all over again.  I know I found a large part of who I am in Idaho, and my return visit this summer was a wonderful tribute to the feisty, R.A.W., Red-Head that Rammed into the town of McCall, Idaho so many years ago. Sometimes we all need a reminder of how to best love ourselves.  I challenge you to do something just for you this week to express your love for yourself! No guilt allowed!

During my return to McCall, I re-connected with myself and though many changes have occurred in my life since I last danced in that amazing mountain town, one thing remains constant…  I know that I feel most wealthy when surrounded by the love of close friends whom embrace me for all that I am and for all that I am not and allow me to see the beauty that shines from each of their dancing souls.

I am interested to know how each of us defines wealth outside of material goods and money. So go ahead, please leave a comment telling me how you, personally, define wealth or at what moments you feel the most wealthy.

For the Love of Paper Mache

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This weekend while sitting dockside in Boothbay Harbor, Maine we experienced our first devouring of lobster for the season.  Normally when I think of lobster I think of the following: its simple deliciousness, my sister (Katie) inquiring to whether or not we have enough butter, and the effort that goes into deconstructing before consumption.

It’s hard to think of lobster and not think of the work that goes into all that cracking.  Lucky for me my love does all that hard work for me as I claim blissful ignorance in how to do it.  (Note: sometimes it’s really fun to not know how to do certain things and have others do them for you.  Let the professionals do their job and stick to what you do well.)  Until recently, I had never thought much about what goes into the creation of a lobster.

Back in January at Nick’s surprise birthday party, our newly engaged friends warmly recalled the piñata we had made for our housewarming party.  With big eyes and a huge smile the bride-to-be asked if we could make her a lobster piñata for her wedding.  We all laughed and joked about it until she maintained that she was having a wedding in Maine and clearly she needed a lobster piñata.  Upon hearing the request, Nick and I looked at one another knowingly…we would be making said lobster!  At the time the request was made, none of our friends knew the effort that went into constructing the piñata for the housewarming party.  No one knew that the evening before our housewarming party I had a mini-meltdown and at one point suggested we forgo the piñata insisting no one knew we were planning to have one so it wouldn’t be missed.  No one knew that Nick saved the day and finished the aesthetics of the piñata for the housewarming, not because he wanted it, but because he knew how hard I had worked on its construction and how much it meant to me.

I must clarify that our housewarming piñata was a simple oval shape, nothing close to as intimidating as a lobster.  Before embarking on the homemade piñata, I searched high and low online for lobster piñatas.  They do exist, but would not arrive in time.  We were two weeks out from the wedding and had to get moving.  Before starting, we discussed my mini-meltdown during the last piñata and decided we would do our best in making this gift for our friends, but if it didn’t work out we wouldn’t get too worked up about a failed attempt.  Taking this moment to clarify our goals and be open to it not working out really helped us keep a positive attitude during construction.  I will certainly adopt this approach for all future craft projects.

The Saturday before the big day, construction began with me on the porch– balloon, newspaper, flour and water mixture in tow.  Nick cut the newspaper strips I used to paper mache the balloon.  The paper mache portion is a 3 day process as each layer must dry fully before the next may be applied.  Luckily we were blessed with steamy weather.  We had agreed that Nick would continue working on the piñata while I was teaching Spin class the Wednesday before the wedding.  I came home to find my love desperately searching the internet for a lobster piñata; needless to say, he was not optimistic about our homemade creation.  It turns out when he cut the top to create the mechanism by which the piñata would hang he discovered the sides of the piñata were all touching on the inside…hence Nick’s discouragement.  I reminded Nick of our intention to not be overwhelmed by the project and we pushed forward to what became an awesome creation.

As you can see in the slideshow above, Luigi the Lobster turned out pretty grand!  Luigi was (literally) a big hit at the wedding.  The timely construction was worth every minute as our friends loved their gift.  But the now happily married couple isn’t the only couple that received a gift in Luigi… Nick and I were gifted with a reminder that we are pretty amazing and limitless in reaching our goals.  This project helped us focus on patience and the importance of encouraging one another. I tend to be a super planner (“Planner McPlannerton” to some of my friends) which leads me to be easily disappointed in myself if things don’t go as planned.  Taking the time to state our intention and be open to bumps in the road proved to create an open atmosphere for us to enjoy the project rather than only focus on the outcome.

If you are ever wondering where you are in a relationship may I suggest creating a detailed homemade piñata together? Or try taking on another task that is foreign to both people. The results may be telling.

Disclaimer: We are not currently taking any requests for custom piñatas.  If you are interested in taking a stab at it, I do encourage you to check out this website or others like it to get you started.

Jumping out of my element, but in my own skin.

I love encountering inspiring people!  Such interactions always leave me lighter and in a playful mood–  The kind where you just want to run through the rain and jump in puddles.  Sometimes said inspiring person doesn’t even realize the interaction is taking place—I find this cool.  I have a new friend, Uncommon Corin, whom inspires me with her honesty and believing in her dreams.  Here is a woman openly sharing her journey about coming into and loving her own body, for exactly what it is.  Talk about gusto!  Yesterday I realized she inspires me in another way as well.  After devouring Corin’s blog (http://inmyownskinn.blogspot.com/) I couldn’t stop thinking of oh how happy her photos made me.  I love how adorable Corin is and how well she has captured her personality in her photos.  I looked at the photos and felt encouraged to take risks in letting my personality shine.

 Any of you who know me are aware that I am by no means a fashonista.  I know how to dress up and shine, but for the most part I’d rather be in my yoga pants, and braless in a T.  When it comes to shopping for clothes I tend to stick to that in which I am comfortable (on many levels).  I am one of those gals who when I find something I like I buy it in every color and then the other half of my wardrobe is black.   Many times I don’t think I can wear things because they won’t look right on my body.  I think Fergie wrote the song “humps” with me in mind J  I love my curves, but sometimes I am intimidated when it comes to shopping and often find myself skipping over the things I really want to try on out of fear or an inner critic telling me I can’t pull the look off. 

 I had some time to burn before my spin class last night and headed to Marshall’s for some last minute shopping for a wedding we are attending in Bar Harbor, Maine this weekend.  I was on the hunt for black sandals and came across this super cute jumper with shorts.  I can’t even write the word jumper without laughing!  (Feel free to join me.)  I picked up the jumper and adored the cutesy pattern.   I have secretly been swooning over these short shorts jumpers every time I see someone strutting in one. I just love them!  I have never had the nerve to try them on in fear of looking like a 28 year old woman in a get-up intended for a baby.  Admittedly the jumper would look simply adorable on my nearly one and a half year old goddaughter (frankly, ANYTHING would look adorable on her).  I put the jumper back on the rack and tried to walk away.  Something drew me back.  Reminded of Corin’s fun photos I thought (and maybe even said aloud) “Why not for me?” 

I made my way into the dressing room—jumper and black sandals in tow.  Another woman was in the dressing room checking out every view of herself in the huge judge me mirror.  Her dress was really flattering and I told her so.  She thanked me and then asked me to check out her butt.  I love how women become instant friends in dressing rooms!  It’s as if we all know we need the support. 

With a timid chuckle I did it, I put on the jumper!  Next came the heeled sandals.  I made my way to the huge judge me mirror, took down my pony tail, and smiled.  Here I was a 28 year old woman in a get-up intended for me!  My goddaughter couldn’t wear this, her mother would find it too short, and she’s not quite ready in the cleavage department.  I didn’t feel totally confident or comfortable, but this dose of discomfort was somehow just what I needed because I knew I would have to pull on my confidence of who I am as a person to pull this look off.  The other women in the room expressed how adorable the outfit was.  I thanked them and I told them I will remember their kind words when I feel too timid to wear the outfit.  I glanced back in the mirror and thought—I’m cute like Uncommon Corin!  (insert heel kick up here). 

Try something that intimidates you—I dare you!