Just how flexible am I?

As 2011 taps on the window and asks me to come play I am tempted to bargain with the New Year and come to a mutually beneficial agreement.  While contemplating what this would entail the idea of not having such high expectations entered, but I was uncomfortable with that idea and choose not to offer lower expectations a cup of tea.  I kindly sent lower expectations away and I hope he did not set up shop in any of your homes or hearts.  After further thought I realized the bargain I want to make with 2011 is to be more flexible.

 

When I have a plan in my head of how something will go, I feel easily let down if things unfold differently.  That’s really no way to live as I’m setting myself up for lots of negative feelings. Reflecting on it now, I can’t help but think- how boring to want to live so regimented and planned? In fact, many of my most treasured moments in life are those that were not planned and occurred rather spontaneously.

 

I am creating some tools to help me stay committed to my goal of being more flexible. First, when I catch myself over planning a conversation or interaction with someone before it is even happening I am going to stop myself and ask myself “What is my intention?” and then I will keep my answer b-r-o-a-d.  If my intention is to show my support, I will leave it at that.  I will not plan what my supportive words will be.  If my intention is to express concern to a loved one, I will imagine the conversation going well and the receiving person leaving the conversation feeling loved.  I will not plan the actual conversation.  I trust my heart and my words to align as long as I remember my intention.

 

Second, when I am planning events I will make my usual list of things I’d like to accomplish which usually includes yummy food, close friends, and a dollop of meaning.  I will then prioritize my list.  Next, I will give myself permission to forget about those ideas that may not come to fruition because the preparation is stressing me out.  Gatherings are meant to bring people together to engage in joy, so why the hell am I stressing myself out?  No need…I will remember it’s just fine to dial myself down from a 9 to a 6.

 

Third, welcoming a regular yoga practice into my life will help me maintain my commitment to being more flexible-both physically and mentally. An increased attention to mind body connection will offer me space to reflect on that which works to increase my joy and throw that which does not out the window.   Speaking of throwing things out the window I must share a story with you.

 

A dear friend of mine was looking to spread some holiday cheer within her work place and decided to gift all of her co-workers with gift cards to Dunkin Donuts.  After a long day of pre-holiday errands and shopping she accidentally threw out the entire bag of gift cards she purchased.  I spoke with her the week after Christmas and she asked me if I had seen a small white box at her home.  It turns out she accidentally threw out the two charms her husband had given her while cleaning up Christmas morning.  I couldn’t stop thinking of how bummed she must be to lose the sentimental gifts from her husband.  It just seemed unfair for this to happen to my friend. Then I thought, what if my friend were able to choose what she wanted to throw away or leave behind in 2010?  And why shouldn’t she?  We, my friends, are the Captains of our own ships and therefore have the opportunity to leave behind that which was less than thrilling in 2010 and dance into 2011 with new life, an open heart, and increased flexibility!

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