Chameleon

I have become attuned to how we identify ourselves when meeting others and am intrigued.  Do you have a go-to introduction for yourself?  For instance, I commonly introduce myself and identify myself with my work as a Financial Planner.  But what if we take our profession out of the equation, then what?  How would we describe ourselves then?  What words come to mind?  Would we then shift to identifying ourselves as the emotion we are currently experiencing?  How often do we say “I am good” without giving thought to how we are feeling?  How often do we passionately respond to the question, “How are you?”  If in that moment we are feeling fabulous, do we express that emotion?  I hope so, but if not, why not?

Let’s move from commonplace to place ourselves outside of common.

I find it funny the words we choose to attach to oneself, and now that I’m focusing on the topic I realize… I’ve never been able to identify myself definitively.  The reason being, I feel none of us really fit into any one category.  I feel cheated at the suggestion of checking off a box and that is what I AM.   I may be a) outgoing, b) ambitious, c) kind, d) balanced.  It’s not that I do not identify with these adjectives, rather I feel as though perhaps we are more Chameleon-like and are forever embracing ourselves and adapting to opportunity.  For example, yes, I can identify with being outgoing, however, I also have my times where I can be an introvert and need stillness and silence to welcome self-reflection.  I do seek balance in my life and try to have a healthy mix of ambition towards my career, time spent with my family and other loved ones, nurturing of my health…and then I have times when I am completely lazy and dedicate time to “not do jack shit.”  Some days I have an amazing connection with the earth and on others, I don’t recycle everything I could.  (Captain Kaytie, Does that make me an environmental P.O.S.?) I have moments when I am extremely compassionate and others when I am a horrible listener.  In college I discovered pleasure in doing yoga to the music stylings of non other than rapper, 50 cent.  I love this contradiction.

I simply am not definitively one thing at all times.

One of the most interesting descriptions I hear myself use is that I am a “SPIN” (indoor cycling) instructor.  Immediately people start to think I am a health nut and dedicated to fitness.  The truth is, I enjoy working out and the fulfillment of a good sweat from a jog or yoga.  However, I also really love fried chicken fingers, beer and milk chocolate.  Sometimes my push to workout is not the fulfillment from the sweat, but my desire to feel sexy in a pair of jeans or have confidence in a bikini.  Other days my workout is completely to help clear my mind.

So I sit here today, in my Chameleon state of mind, and challenge myself not to confine myself or judge others to be any one definition.   If I spend half my day brainstorming methods of how I can save the world and empower women to best position themselves for success and spend the rest of the day eating Raisinets on the couch while watching mindless TV, I am ok with that.  If tomorrow I wake up and run 3 miles and take my Pilates class at noon and am super productive at work I will be satisfied, I will be proud.  My challenge is becoming more clear now.  My intention is to shift my focus from how what I do is perceived or defines me, to how what I do sits with me, makes me feel.  Am I fulfilled from a productive day at work?  Yes.  Am I fulfilled from a day of “not doing jack shit?”  Yes.  Can I encounter a rambunctious gal pal and also understand her serious side and embrace the many different angles she shares with the world? Yes. Can I meet a marathon runner and understand they have more than running going on in their life?  Yes.  Can I admire my dear friend who plays in a speed metal band, but also loves to dance to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake?  Absolutely, in fact, I love this about her!

May we embrace all of the evolving parts, which make us who we are, and dance with our discoveries.  May we challenge ourselves not to judge at first glance and create checklists of who we perceive others to be.  May we be open to seeing the light in each of us….and let it shine, let it shine, let is shine!